Oh dear poor Kyo
by Sakura Sohma
Summary: A small example of the power of the authoress! humor, kyo turture and general weird randomness ensues.


Hello! This is a fun fan fiction, I VISIT THE SOHMA'S! Kyo torture ensues.

Kyo: what? Why? Why do you always have to torture me?

Sakura: Because! It's fun!

Kyo:whimper…

MOMIJI+sings+ REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

CHAPTER 1.

**I** hum cheerily as I sat opposite Shigure-sempei and Yuki-kun typing away on my amazing super cool laptop. My attention slightly shifted as Kyo-kun sidled over to me, looking over my shoulder.

"What are you writing now?" He said, annoyance etching his voice.

I glared at Kyo-kun, wanting so much to tell him bluntly to piss off. "I am actually writing a very serious story. Now leave me alone." I said instead. (see the self control?)

It was a dark and stormy night- 

Kyo rolled his eyes. "Lame." He said, truly annoyed.

I turned menacingly to him and my eyes became a deep black colour. "Excuu-uuse me?" I said dangerously.

"Kyo I wouldn't go there" Yuki spoke up, not taking his eyes off the knot in the table.

Kyo purposely ignored Yuki and turned his attention back to me and my "lame" story. "Oh come on! EVERY story starts like that!" he yelled.

I let out a low growl, trying so hard not to yell back. "Okay then Kyo, How's THIS for lame?"

"Here we go…" said Shigure, looking up momentarily from his paper.

_Kyo suddenly, inexplicably, sprouts rat ears and a tail._

Kyo let out a yelp, jumping three feet into the air.

I grinned, and Shigure and Yuki cracked into hysterical laughter.

Kyo started to yell and rant, "I'M A RAT! A DAMNED RAT!"

I sat still, arms folded and sporting a smug smile. "Yes Kyo-Kyo. You are."

Yuki also folded his arms, smug literally plastered all over his face. "How very observant."

Shigure-sempei was on the floor by this time, clutching his sides, unable to calm himself down.

"SHUT UP RAT BOY!" Kyo yelled. "And you!" he said pointing fiercely at me, "put me back right now!"

I pouted at Kyo. "But Kyo-Kyo. I thought you wanted to be a member of the zodiac?" I batted my eyes innocently causing Shigure, who had only just calmed down to snort, and start laughing again.

"S-she does h-have a point—Kyo, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He tried to say through his laughter.

Kyo ignored Shigure, his anger flaring at me. "DON'T CALL ME KYO-KYO!"

I shut my eyes, breathing out an exasperated sigh. Closing my laptop, I stood up. "Right. I'm leaving now."

Kyo grabbed my coat, pulling me towards him. "PUT ME BACK RIGHT NOW!" he yelled in my ear.

I quirked an eyebrow, and brushed his hands off my coat. "Fine, fine." I said sitting back down and re-opening my laptop. "Kyo – you are such a spoilsport!"

_Kyo becomes normal again._

Kyo sported a triumphant loo as he turned away. "Great. Now don't do it again."

I raised my eyes to him and let out a low growl.

Yuki once again looks up from the knot in the table to focus on Kyo. "You shouldn't have done that." He said.

I smirk and start typing.

_Fortunately, the ever-popular Kyo gets a visit from his two favourite people, Kagura and Momiji._

Kyo sweatdrops. "What is that noise..?" he said, his voice quivering slightly.

Shigure stopped laughing just long enough to sit down next to me and read what I had written. "My my," he said, "You are bad."

Kagura appeared out of nowhere and dropkicked Kyo. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" She got her evil eye look and too it upon herself to beat poor Kyo to a pulp.

"You're the one who brought her here!" He yelled.

Shigure and I classically sweat-dropped.

"Hello everyone!" Momiji sand merrily.

Kyo turned slowly round to look at Momiji, then looked at me with a loo of pure disdain. "I. Hate. You."

I pretended to look hurt. "Why , that was painful Kyo, because I luuuurrrvveeee you!"

Kagura's eyes become a pure red colour. "KYO YOU TWO TIMER!" She commences beating up Kyo once again but with renewed vigour.

Kyo starts to whimper and Shigure looks at me, a worried expression on his face. "You know, I almost feel sorry for him.."

"Me too," I said, looking pityingly at Kyo.

_Kagura leaves._

Kagura looked up from Kyo. "Huh?" she said, just before vanishing into thin air.

"Almost" I said, a grin slowly forming on my face.

"MY TURN!" Momiji yelled gleefully

Kyo looked around frantically and grabbed my laptop! "TAKE THIS YOU DAMNED STUPID AUTHORESS!"

We all sweat-dropped, and I tentatively said "um Kyo? Um I wouldn't do tha-"

Kyo threw my laptop full force to the floor, making it shatter.

Yuki shook his head and muttered, "Stupid cat."

"What did I do?" Kyo yelled back. "All I did was-"

I sighed, and said, with a defeated voice, " Kyo, as soon as that little light on the laptop goes out, all data on it will be lost, and this Story will-"-


End file.
